Why not have a similar system for women (and men too I guess) to warn them away from well-known creeps like my last guy? Turns out he and many other IT types get on this site called Ars Technica The Lounge Velvet Room and tell everyone every single intimate detail about their relationships, (with some pretty important facts kept out to make themselves look good). Left out of the messages were pretty important details . In his case these included omission of his frequent declarations of love and promising a marriage proposal by the end of the year up until the day before the dumping. Upon reading this forum, I found that the ex did the exact same thing to the last girlfriend almost exactly a year before me. He took her on the same dates, in the same order, got bored with her for some reason and dumped her the same way etc. And then, I found out he only looks for relationships after April every year. He's like a kind of Spring-Summer Locust. He comes out from hibernation in April, sets his sites on a woman, takes her to tea first, a play and dinner second, and when he really wants to turn on the charm, something expensive like Chinese acrobats or ZinZanni, takes the woman meets his mother, then they go to Victoria to stay with friends, he constantly discusses marriage, his great love for the woman, desire to have children etc. All this while he types absolute rot on this site egged on by those even more delusional and socially inept than he. I noticed he left out all of the love stuff and anything that the woman may have done to help him, her sacrifices or time. He even used the same exact phrases about two different women he dated a year apart,1) She could be great, we'll see. One week later, 2)"She's just not good enough for me," 3) ( anywhere from 1-3 months after number 2), "She takes up too much of my energy! I'm dumping her." He then h
hibernatesand whines about being alone for most of the Winter. Then, come February, when the gift giving and family seasons of Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Valentine's are over, he considers starting all over again making the same statement year after year, "I want to make all new mistakes." I think the irony is lost on him. My gawd, he's doing it again. It's like some very bad Groundhog's Day movie, where he is both the actual groundhog and the Bill Murray character but he either isn't aware of this pattern or he doesn't give a darn.
With all of this in mind, I have decided that , there must be a warning system for daters out there. Even if it just keeps a few people from dating the ex or men or women like him.Unless, of course, that is what a person is looking for. To each their own and all that.
How about Disaster daters dot com (I like that copyright unless it's taken)
Someone once told me of a theory called the internet jerkwad theory. Get a person who is basically normal, add the anonymity of the internet and voila! Jerkwad. So, why not make us responsible for our words?
The problem would be of course, that disaster daters could potentially devolve into nothing but a snarkiness match with man or woman hating and that helps no one. It would turn into the same thing as this Ars Technica Lounge where they egg each other on and seem to support being cold and cruel. A few great links of this misanthropic and misogynist tripe include site include: The Perpetual getting some thread (Seriously it exists and it is like the gamer IT geek's version of Penthouse forum from what I can gather and the events described therein are about as realistic or likely to have happened as those in forum.)
No, Diaster daters must be somehow gentle and kind, but still tell the truth from an objective standpoint.
No snarkiness, amateur psychology, sexual evaluations, or statements or cruel statements would be allowed. The trick would be to have some kind of truth detector. Maybe it could a reliable way to see if more than two women experienced the same type of thing with the same guy. Also, some device would have to be invented so only the facts went into the profile. Users could be anonymous on the site, but those who control the site could phone them or contact them. Maybe multiple choice questions like in a Facebook quiz would work. Then the individuals being evaluated would only be known by their first name or initial, occupation, general description of appearance etc. But, no other identifying details like address, e-mail, place of work, or photos would be allowed. And, the person being reviewed would have a chance to refute the evidence on the same site. That's only democratic after all. One idea would be to monitor sites such as the one I mentioned earlier. If someone knows a potential date's screen name or city, it can be searched. In that case, the site wouldn't even need the multiple choice, the subject would be incriminating him or herself voluntarily. Because guess what? The same would go for women's sites that are fecklessly cruel about descriptions of their potential dates. The internet is forever people. I wonder if those dweebs who write on these Ars pages even think about that? They should, considering their profession. If technology can be used to lie about people, why not to tell the truth? And if it can be used to be cruel, why not to help people? I'm going to think of some good tests and what the different results could be for starters.Any psychologists out there with suggestions (for tests, not me :) )
The page would have good recommendations too.Examples could include, 1) A great person, just no attraction or 2) a great person, but I'm not looking for the same things in life. or even just 3) a great person! But it would not be a dating site like OK cupid where people can rate each other by their photos. No photos would be included and therefore it would be more about how people act than how they look.
Anyone interested in helping me set up this potentially million dollar idea? I would definitely look it up before going on a date again. It would have to be better than the information on google right?
Speaking only for myself, if I knew ahead of time that a guy was a borderline sociopath,already married, had posted garbage about intimate details of previous relationships, it would save time and effort for both parties right? If we can put up site about noisy neighbors, good or bad plumbers, why not this kind too?
Does anyone know of such a site? If not, who's in to make a million dollars (or maybe 10 dollars) with this grand idea? If not, it will have to go back in my pile of great ideas.